December 2008
5 posts
3 tags
My Dad's Van
Back in 1987 when I was in first grade my dad had an awesome white van. I’m pretty sure it was a 1978 Econoline or something (the kind of van that lester the molester would always try to get me into by offering me HiC juice boxes and giant bags of Halloween candy in mid-July even though I was too smart for him but my buddy Burt wasn’t) but to me, it was the Space Van that ran on...
November 2008
6 posts
2 tags
Gay, Jewish, Dead or Canadian
I just came up with a drinking game or party game. It’s called “Gay, Jewish, Dead or Canadian”.
Basically one person calls out a celebrity’s name and another person has to guess if they’re gay, Jewish, dead or Canadian. You gotta give all of the right answers though…
And it works because of my theory that all celebrities are either Gay, Jewish, Dead or...
3 tags
Nasty Bun
I used to go to Chinatown all the time when I was younger. Now that I don’t have as much disposable income because of the economy and being a semi-adult I view a trip as a reward of sorts. I haven’t been to Chinatown since I had family over from California over the Summer and I figured “Hell.. Why not?”
I’m not one of those delicate people who have to have their...
1 tag
Spideramma
Girls are afraid of spiders. Even though spiders are pretty much harmless, girls tend to go “BWAHAHAHAHA” when there’s a spider.
My little sister has an excuse though, and that excuse is me.
You see, I’m an insensitive bastard. I ENJOY pissing people off. Like when I go to the store and buy cake and won’t give any to Jujubees. Or when I ask her if she wants...
1 tag
Grandma
I’d like to take a moment in blogging to remember my grandmother. My Dad’s mom. The meanest, most cantankerous person ever born.
Imagine a woman: 4 feet tall, 4 feet wide with giant Madonna bulletbra boobs and a shellacked hairdo to rival Sarah Palin’s. Chainsmoking and cursing out the Yankees.
I think it was the Yankees. It could have been the Mets, but I’m not...
2 tags
Election Prediction
Ya know what I think?
I wholeheartedly support and welcome our rightful robot masters.