August 2009
5 posts
2 tags
Sick Girl and Closet Sex
Last Friday as I’m leaving work I get my supervisor (you know you life is shit when there’s someone who’s job it is to “supervise” you like the tards that ride the bus to the community center except that THEY don’t have a supervisor because they are trusted to get from one location to another and they actually do, but I’m not trusted enough to sign my name...
5 tags
I'm a Smurf!
It was 1986. Ronald Regan was president. The Smurfs were all over the place. I was 6.
I was at Suzan’s (as in who you’re cruizin’ for a bruzin’ from… AKA my big sister) house while my mom and our dad (Suzan’s my paternal half sister and is like.. 30 years older than me) drank coffee on a Saturday morning. This was back in the golden days of Saturday...
2 tags
All My Girlfriends Love David Bowie
For some reason that I will never understand, it seems that all my girlfriends love David Bowie. In fact I know that two of them became sexually aware while watching Labyrinth.
I on the other hand, became sexually aware while watching my friend’s sister sunbathing when I was 7 or so… but that’s a different story…
It’s not that I don’t understand...
2 tags
The Traffic Cop
There’s this guy on my block who’s not really a traffic cop but he directs traffic. And wears a uniform.
He wears a red windbreaker that was a promo item for a now-defunct web startup from the late 1990’s. A baseball cap that he’s spraypainted neon green. He uses a red bandanna stapled to a backscratcher as a flag.
The guy is old, like, 80 or so. He says he was in...
4 tags
