December 2010
5 posts
Guilt
Miriam: How can you leave for California knowing your poor mother's going to be home all alone on Christmas? Have you no heart?
Miles: Mom! You KNOW I have to work! And besides, we're Jewish!
Miriam: What's that got to do with it! You're leaving your mother ALONE on CHRISTMAS!
Miles: Enough with the Jewish Guilt.
Miriam: *sigh*
3 tags
“Is there any reason that the bedroom smells like farts? I mean… ...”
– My girlfriend on the state of our bedroom. Which does smell like farts.
Not usually. Just… today. It’s really bad.
We’ve been sick for the past week and a half…
And for the record? Farts come from my butt.
4 tags
Burning Man
“Hey mom! Remember that time that I was 7 and you brought me to BURNING MAN? That was the first time I saw adult penis!” was the quote of the hour. From my nephew. To my sister, Miriam.
Miriam is the one that used to live in my attic and got accused of hiding weed in a coffee pot, if you can recall. So she’s already a bad dude.
What had happened is that she was told by...
3 tags
Music Club
When I was a zit-covered tween in the early 1990’s I discovered music. More importantly I discovered music CLUBS. To remind everyone what those are, those were groups that you got CDs (the 1990‘s equivalent to iTunes or whatever. I’m not too sure how kids listen to music nowadays since I’m an old codger with hairy knuckles and an ever growing bald spot) for a really low price, providing...
2 tags
Soy
Whenever anyone tries to get me to eat something that has soy in it I invariably lie and tell them that I’m allergic. Now, most people will, upon hearing that, forget that I believe that food allergies are make-believe. Either that or they think that I’m saying that as an attention getter like everyone else that’s allergic to anything.
The truth is that soy products are gross...