My friend Don takes these photography classes at the same school as me. It’s his major and that’s fine. We need people with useless degrees who don’t know how to operate the cable remote so that I can charge them thousands of dollars to make them feel emasculated.

Don’t think, though, that Don’s useless. He’s a source of much entertainment for me. Like the time that he forgot to clear the cache in his computer….

You see, Don had to do a demonstration in front of the class that involved hooking up his computer to the projector. He then went on the Internet and found a picture and copied it to his desktop. When he did that? All. His. Porn. became visible.

To the entire class. Including the girls he was trying to have sexytimes with. But no girl wants to give you the sexytimes when you’re downloading goat porn and you don’t have the common sense to cover that shit up.

Whenever I download sexy amputee videos or Japanese tentacle rape I delete my download history.

And then I save it all to a flash drive.

That I keep in my sock drawer.

Inside a pair of rolled up socks.

Because, we all know that EVERYone looks at porn. But only perverts get caught.