I had the most awesome dream last night.

I dreamed that Sarah Palin and Peggy Bundy were making out on MY couch! And that I walked in on it and then they told me to take off my hardhat and put down my lunchbox (because in my dreams sometimes I’m the construction worker from the Village People only not gay) and join them!

OH HOLEY SHIT HELLS YEAH!!!

You might think that that was the end of the dream but no! My livingroom turned into the Super-Train. And we were taking that train to the moon.

Now all of a sudden Palin and Bundy merged into this awesome amalgamated gutter-slut wearing a Startrek uniform.

This ended when my girlfriend, Jujubees woke me up by rubbing bacon in my face. Bacon wakes me up better than any alarm clock because I usually just throw the alarm clock out the window and then it gets hit by a passing bus. Also because my dog tends to lick the bacon grease off of my face.

And we all know that he’s one meal away from eating me. Johnson first. And brother, that is NO way to go…