My neice is a bit of a tard. Well, that’s not true. She’s really a bright girl, gonna be a teacher or something i dunno… I don’t really pay too much attention to stuff unless it’s about how to get me some more Legos or Doctor Who DVDs.

Why, if I fully admit that she’s a person of reasonable intelligence, do I call her a “tard”? Well… She ate the yellow snow.

Not lately though. More like 20 someodd years ago. When we were all kids.

Let me clear something else up: I’ve got a niece that’s a year older than me and one that’s a year younger than me. The details of this are not pertinent to this Blog Entry…

So we’re out playing in the snow one day and Naomi (my niece) is out in the driveway of my sister’s (her mom) house. Naomi runs up to me and goes “ZOMGZ!!! There’s some SPECIAL snow over here by the tree!!!! All this other snow is white and boring but this snow’s YELLOW! **IT MUST BE GOLD SNOW!!! WE’RE RICH!!!!!*”…

well…

My little sister and I knew what it was. I mean, how can you not? But being the unrelenting bastard that I am I decided to mess with her.

“That’s not gold you silly-butt! That’s juice! Hold on…” and I went to get a dixi-cup from the kitchen. Which should have triggered a “red-flag” from my parents or my sister or brother-in-law but they were all busy drinking coffee and eating cheese danish or something that they just gave me a dixi-cup without much of a second thought….

So I scooped the snow up into the cup and said “Here ya go! It’s a snowcone!” Naomi’s eyes lit up. She actually “sqeeeeeeeeEEEE”ed… took a lick.. looked at me… ran back inside crying while I was laughing and rolling in the snow.

My sister came out and yet again I was put in a garbage can. Without pants.

But who doesn’t know that Yellow Snow isn’t lemon flavored?