If it’s 9am and you smell like BO and apathy then you need to seriously re-examine your personal hygiene regiment. Yes, I understand if you work some weird midnight to 8am shift, but if you do that then you should re-examine your life and career path… because DAMN!

So pretty much every morning I get on the train either to go to school or work and this old guy who looks like he’s got a secret child molesting dungeon in his basement sits right behind me. Like back to back behind me. Every fucking day. And he smells like ointment and unwashed ass and feet.

Un-fucking-acceptable.

And every day, right after he sits next to me, I get up and move to the other end of the car and he gives me…. ME a dirty look! Dude! Get a fucking clue! Take a fucking hint! Use some fucking Riteguard and Irish Spring!

Today I had to get into a different car because all the forward facing seats were taken (I got issues and I gotsta sit forwards or backwards on the train, not sideways. It’ll throw off my whole day). In NYC it’s illegal and of course I run into a cop.

I told him it was life-or-death and explained the situation. The cop shook his head and said “ok… I just don’t give a fuck about anything anymore…” and took a swig from his flask and let me alone.

Good morning.