Like any fatkid I LOVE snacky cakes. I have to, however post a protest against Little Debbie’s price increases. It’s obscene that they went from 25c to 35c in 2007 and now? they’re 50c!!!
I used to be able to fill the emptyness in my life by eating $1’s worth of the cute girl’s discs and bricks of lard and sugar. Now $1’s worth makes me feel just as empty, but sad and embarrassed that I ate something that I KNOW is just bloody awful for you to eat. But I do it anyway. And yeah, I can pay $2 and get all 4 cakes but seriously? How’m I gunna get chips too?
Or Shasta?
New Yorkers always rant and rave over things like pizza prices and subway rides going up too much too quickly but nobody’s lobbying for price caps on Zebra Cakes.
IT IS BULLSHIT!
When I was in second grade you could get 2 Little Debbies and 2 quarter drinks for a dollar, and share them with little Sally and you could hold hands in the schoolyard until she got pissed at you for putting dead bugs down the back of her shirt or you got embarrassed because your friends called you “gay” for hanging out with a girl!
But then you still had a secret girlfriend and would leave each other notes in each other’s desks when nobody was looking. And then when Ms. Willobie found you passing notes and you’d have to stand up and read them to the rest of the class where they’d laugh like the pack of retards they were and throw spitballs and glueballs (wads of paper mashed with Elmer’s white glue) and then you start crying and peeing your pants and you had to go to the principal’s office where you had to stand with your head against the tile wall in the hallway until your pants dried….
Then when you got to go home you’d get some change out of your parent’s change jar and try to feel better with a Fudge Round and a Star Crunch and an Oatmeal Cream Pie and another Fudge Round because the bodega’s selection was limited.
But kids can’t do that now! NOW a days it costs $2 for the same shit that 20 years ago cost a single buck!
OUTRAGE!!!!
