I have a 10 year old great nephew… I simply consider him my nephew. And, as an uncle, who is a total bastard, it is my god-given duty to torture and torment this kid. At all costs.
One of my favorites happened the other day, while at my sister’s house. My nephew was looking at his MySpace page, and telling me who all of his friends were when he got to “Shy Girl”. He simply says “**this is ..*giggle* .. my friend *giggle*… **”, puts his hand up, covering his eyes, tries QUICKLY to go to the next friend.
Of course I took this as my queue to make fun of him. And I started writing “Shy Girl” on napkins… asking him if “Shy Girl” liked his t-shirt… offering to make a t-shirt for him saying “Shy Girl” etc…
It culminated with my drawing, in permanent marker, “NEPHEW & Shy Girl”… in a heart… with an arrow going through it… and stars around it… on the palm of my hand. I did this while he was in the bathroom sulking. And also probably pooping. When he came out I say “NEPHEW, I’m sorry I’ve been giving you grief about Shy Girl. It was very immature of me. We cool, yo?”
“Yes uncle Fattie! I’m OK now. Let’s high-5 and be cool about it, and forget about this whole thing!!!”
… Then he saw my artwork!!! And spent the rest of the night crying.
*sigh* … he’s an Emo.
