Catastrophic Chair Failure
I’m fat. I admit it. Hell, I ADVERTISE it. But I’m also a self-aware fatty. I know what chairs I can sit in, and when I’ve just got to lean up against a sturdy I-Beam.
And I don’t even walk with a cane.
This one guy, however, that went to my niece’s job to start up an account… is fat. And semi-retarted.
This guy’s so fat he has to have special over-engineered chairs. Something designed by the US. Army Corp of Engineers. Something that’s been hurricane tested by Boeing (for the farts). You see, MOST corporate office waiting areas don’t have that. They have particle board crap that LOOKS like it’s almost nice. Stuff that if you’re under a seventh of a ton you’re allowed to sit in. But for this guy, standing wasn’t an option. So he sat in a chair. And broke it.
After the explosion that lodged a piece of laminate in the ceiling and nearly poked out the secretary’s eye, the dust cleared and this guy was on his back, legs waving like a waterbeatle. The secretary had do go help him up. All 100lbs of her, and all 400lbs of him.
She’s going to be fine. She gets out of traction tomorrow. Don’t worry.
She did manage to get him up after crawling to the warehouse door, and calling for “3 big HUGE guys!!!” to come help her.
The customer got a huge discount on his sales.
