Last night my girlfriend and I Rickrolled an entire bar.

There was a girl there, looked about 15, 16. Basically too young to be there and she was putting all sorts of crappy music on the jukebox. She played some Elton John crap, then played “My Humps”, Last Kiss and all sorts of other crap. I can’t remember. I was drinking because it was SATURDAY.

And SATURDAY is drinking day.

Well, after listening to “Hey now, You’re an Allstar!….” or whatever that crappy song that made me vomit through out the “aughts” I got pissed off and took $5 outta my girlfriend’s purse (while she was in the bathroom ‘cause I’m classy and I a’int no scrub and not gonna ASK her for money. I’m not ghetto like that, son). I put that $5 in the jukebox and it bought me 7 plays. So I selected “Never Gonna Give You Up”. Seven Times.

That’s 25 minutes of Rick Astley. No fucking way could anyone stand that. So I left.

And made my girlfriend drive me back home for a conjugal visit.

I don’t care if they block me from that bar because they only have Bud and Magic Hat on tap. Magic Hat is ok, a little sweet for me but palatable (unlike Bud which tastes like that time that someone peed in a cup and put in roofies and then took my shoes while i was passed out and made me walk home in shame from the Jersey Street Projects).

Also, why is Bud ever on tap? It seems to me to be a waste. Both of time and space. If I had a bar I probably wouldn’t even have Bud. At all. And if you ordered it I’d kick you out ‘cause I don’t want your money that bad. You’re probably a douche wearing an Ed Hardey shirt and I’d rather wear a jockstrap full of scorpions rather than anything that that Twatwaffle scribbles on a shitty silkscreen.

Anyway here’s some links to the video…